Should Glaswegians put pineapple on a deep-fried pizza supper at the chip shop, and if the answer is yes, should the council require a warning sticker on the menu board before the next Hogmanay?

Hello, I'm Wilson, and this is a question I'm glad somebody finally asked out loud. You want to know whether Glaswegians should order pineapple on a deep-fried pizza supper, and if so, whether the council ought to make chip shops put a warning sticker on the menu board before Hogmanay. Strip away the batter and the question really turns on two separate things. The first is a matter of taste: is this a good thing to eat? The second is a matter of public policy: when does a council have any business telling a chip shop what to print about its food? Those two questions get tangled together, but they have very different answers. Taste belongs to the person holding the fork, and nobody else. A warning sticker is a different animal. It needs a real harm behind it, something a reasonable customer wouldn't already know, and a reason the council is the right body to step in. So let me take the pineapple first, and then the sticker.

On the pineapple, my answer is yes, if you like it. The deep-fried pizza supper is already a dish built on contrast: hot fat, salt, cheese and a crisp shell, eaten …